mercury in retrograde...

I feel patently ridiculous complaining about anything when my city is completely surrounded by raging fires and my neighbors have lost homes and cars and pets. Our house is standing. Absurdly, grossly messy, buried under piles of laundry, but standing. The kids are healthy, other than the standard "back to school" runny noses and coughs. We did not at any point this week have to scramble to throw our belongings (get the quilts!!) into the minivan and flee in panic, only to turn around and go back for the fishbowl.

But still. Can you please indulge me for a minute? In the banal and lame complaints department? If you really cannot stomach hearing someone talk about how they feel like they're living "under a black cloud" when you are actually living under a cloud made of the ashes of your home... maybe just pretend like I never wrote the following --

First dental work in 15 years (me and Chase), re-fixing dental work (just me- FUN), disappearing stomach lining (me again!), sleeplessness (everyone except Jane), late night missed buses (yep, me), and of course imminent suffocation by giant pile of laundry (ALL OF US SEND HELP OH MY GOD)

Also. When I make jam, 1 out of 8 jars seals, when I bake, it's mushy or burned, when I sew, my thread breaks, then my needle breaks, then my thread breaks again. When I knit I miscount. I rip out, I knit again. I end up turning it in the wrong direction and knitting diagonally?! WTF. Usually when things are feeling difficult I calm myself down by making something, but it feels like I need to just go to a cabin in the woods (not the piney woods.. ) and try not to touch anything.

We are both being really short with the kids. It might partly be the fact that Ben frequently wants to sleep just a little bit less than he wants to scream as loud as he can into your face, and that can be kind of wearing. NONETHELESS. My kiddos do not deserve this- they are living their own lives, newly jam packed with exhausting school days and new challenges and although they can be kind of IRRITATING (ha. kind of). as they work through these issues, they still need their parents to be on the ball, dealing with it kindly and presently, not just staring at the wall and wishing it would be time to open the bottle of wine already.

BASICALLY nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. Wah wah. We have a house and jobs and health. I'm shutting up already.

P.S. The "OMG I know how blessed we are and I am SO GRATEFUL" postscript- more or less effective than the more traditional version of putting dirt on your kids' faces to ward off the evil eye? Because I do that too.