Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Curious George and Oh the Humanity

The Man with the Yellow Hat (TMWTYH as he's known in our house) says, "No George, a 'collection' isn't just a bunch of trash you find on the street... it's something special -- like a stamp collection, or this collection of piggy banks..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO" screams Jane, running from the room as the children begin to "recycle" George's "collection."

Which should give everyone a good idea of the state of her room. We have feather collections (so many feathers), rock collections, empty yogurt containers holding eggshells collections, pencil shaving collections, collections that are just scraps of paper from the creation of the display and exhibit apparatus of other collections... 

Sorry, TMWTYH, but you're wrong on this one. Collections can absolutely be just a bunch of trash you find on the street. And God help you if you throw that water bottle full of mineral oil and perler beads away. MOM! IT WAS IN MY COLLECTION! (followed by inconsolable weeping, etc)

Maybe she'll be an archivist when she grows up.

In other librarianship news, I like my new job. I'm in my second week and it's going okay. Dressing for it is definitely the most confusing part. I feel like I know my way around the ILS alright, and so yes maybe I did get lost in the closed stacks basement cage for a while there on Monday, but overall things are going pretty well.

I just have no clothes that say "employable grown up, circa 2013." All my employable grownup clothes were bought for me at the gap by my mom in 2001 when I graduated from UT :(

The fact that it's taken me over a decade to get a job where pencil skirts and heels are not absurdly laughable is kind of heartbreaking, but whatevs. I'm here now, and the clothes I wear generally say something different... more in the conversational vein of "So are you Jane's nanny?".. or possibly "Isn't it convenient that Savers is so close to your kid's elementary school?"

So every morning Chase has gotten up, chosen one of his indistinguishable pairs of pants, one of his button down shirts, and is a showered, coffee making, homework signing, kid shoe finding machine, while I'm still staring wide eyed and hopeless at a line of clothes like someone watching the Hindenburg go down (blimpy comparisons implied).

I don't even know where to look for the right kind of clothes. I mean assuming I had money. If Millie were here, she'd have already dragged me to some bizarre boutique probably owned by the daughter  or niece of one of her sorority sisters from Millsaps and/or Ole Miss. I would be standing, pantsless, in a pink wallpapered dressing room saying haltingly "I don't really know... but I don't think that's...?" while being efficiently steamrolled into trying on a barrage of legally blonde-esque lady lawyer clothes. I am not even kidding. That 100% absolutely would be happening if Millie were here today.

I'm picturing this like one of those terrible dead grandparent Family Circus cartoons (tm), where Millie's looking down from a cloud in heaven right now yelling "OH MY GOD JUST GO TO ANN TAYLOR LOFT DID I TEACH YOU NOTHING?" followed by "And please tell Chase he looks handsome in that shirt but it would look better tucked in."

Anyway... that's the current state of things. Trying to look like I didn't just pick a random assemblage from the "least holes" category of the closet for my interview.  Also now I have my OWN key to the cage in the basement. So, watch out? I guess?

1 comment:

The Williams Family said...

TMWTYH is the last person in the world to listen to- remember when he was in the jungle and he tricked George into picking up his hat, only to shove him into a burlap sack and take him to the zoo? I think he consistently shows poor judgment by allowing a monkey to do things like deliver pizzas, then is surprised when it doesn't all work out perfectly. Until it does work out perfectly, because those books clearly don't teach cause and effect.

I vote for buying a small collection of neutrals: blacks, grays, whites, creams, beiges- skirts/pants/shirts, then adding scarves and jewelry for color and trendiness. At least that's what women in the beauty section of Martha Stewart Living are always doing. I'm currently wearing one of your hand-me-down maternity shirts, so maybe Kelly from 5 Years Ago can help with this problem? All I can remember from Work Clothes is invest in good shoes. Glad the new job is going well!