Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Life skills, from my dad.


When you're in a left turn lane, don't turn your wheel until you start moving. That way, if you're rear ended, you'll go forward, instead of into oncoming traffic.


Spread a sheet over your canoe, then shake the mayhaw tree. The berries will be easy to gather.

Control your temper.

Put the kindling on the bottom, then stack larger logs and sticks like a tent, to let in the oxygen and get the fire going.

Pinch the sides of the jaw, and slide the hook out gently, sort of wiggling it. That way, if the fish is underweight, he'll be fine when you throw him back.

Say thank you. A lot. To everyone. Be sincere in your gratitude.

Measure twice, cut once. Unless you're in a hurry. Then just make sure your thumb's not in the way.

Gulf wax works great for canning if you don't want to bother with sterilizing lids.

Never give two dogs a bone.

You can use timber from the land to pay back taxes on the land. You don't want to be the guy who sold the land.

Wait under water until they unsuspectingly swim over you - the push off from the bottom will give you enough momentum to toss an average child about 5,000 feet into the air.

Never get between angry dogs. Get a hose. If that doesn't work, get a gun.

If you're walking, and you see trash on the ground, pick it up. Always keep a trash bag when you're camping, so you can take out any trash you find.

Press your thumb into warm beeswax, repeat about 50 times, pressing the bottoms together, until you've got a little rose. Give it to someone you love.

Hang little red christmas ornaments on your tomato cages- it will confuse the birds and they won't eat your actual tomatoes.

Did you go to the circus? I heard the heat was intense.

Stand with your legs slightly spread, don't lock your knees, sight, and be ready for the kickback. Geez not that much kickback. It's a .22.

It's okay to cry. Especially when you're singing.

Red and yellow, kill a fellow.

If you take crabs out of someone else's trap, re-bait it before you leave. Same with anyone's trout lines.

Snakes actually CAN bite while they're swimming.

Respect your parents.

Always be ready to pull another chair up to the table. Never be slow to show generosity.

This is about .5% of the total, but I'll keep working on it.



4 comments:

-- chase said...

It's amazing how many of these I didn't know, considering how much time I've spent with you and your dad. Al's a good guy.

davatron5000 said...

Beautiful and perfect.

Sean and Jenny said...

Thank your dad for me-- I just learned a lot of stuff I didn't know! -jenny sims

Sarah Roden said...

It is amazing how many of those involve being kind, wisdom and friendship. Beautiful post. Beautiful man.