Sunday, January 25, 2009

Survival Strategy

I'm going to take this opportunity to pass on a piece of hard won parenting wisdom that will be of use to anyone who is now a parent or plans to have children at some point in the future.

I am speaking, of course, about strategies for surviving Candyland, the potentially never ending, mind-numbing slog to King Candy's Castle, punctuated by tears, pleading, that one sticky piece of licorice, and the reverberation of your psychic energy willing the phone to ring, or the house to catch on fire.

Basically, the game can take a really long time...IF you don't know the secret.

Palm the picture cards.
Place them in the top third of the deck, and this way they will always move the child FORWARD. Towards sweet sweet freedom.

It is also handy to set aside a few double color cards to slip on top, for those times when your child really cannot handle losing gracefully.

I know. If you've ever played Candyland without doing this, you are wondering how you could have survived. Honestly, I've never made it. Not even as a babysitter. I just can't take it. When TWO PEOPLE from my family gave Wren Candyland this year, both with knowing evil grins, it occurred to me that I might have been a Candyland fan as a child, and if so I'M SORRY. I'm sorry, Aunt Pam, to you especially, because I feel like you might have been the main victim. I'm sorry to deny you your vengeance, but I am not afraid to admit that I'm weak. Wren will never know how long Candyland can really be.

Because now with this simple trick, I too can endure board game fun with my children. Hurrah!

I hope I come across similar strategies for Boggle.


Jannie Funster said...

Ah ha! My girl is 7 now and can handle games better but that would've been good to know when she was 3 and 4!

I found you via our mutual "Austin" tag on Blogger.

Anonymous said...

I think that so long as the kids are never subjected to Apples to Apples in their adult life you are going to have some happy humans on your hands. Your strategy is pretty remarkable and much more subtle than the one we used in the Weber house wherein an edge of the board was grasped with two hands and hoisted, rapidly, into the air allowing all game cards and pieces to relocate elsewhere in the room. Whoever gets stuck cleaning it up (my brother) is the loser.