ZIMMERMAN!

So this isn't my usual blog fare, and I don't normally have a temper, and I certainly don't usually take stupid marketing decisions personally, but after I saw this ad, I accidentally broke a glass with my hands.

I mean. I don't even know what to say. I was holding it and then it was broken and my hand was bleeding. I don't know what happened. I'm like the Hulk. Or Buffy.

This ad gives me the same feeling I've had after a weird confrontation with someone I really don't like. Or talking to a drunk family member. Or being involved in a minor car accident. Just that racing pulse kind of confused anger. Probably not what Pepsi was going for.

I was trying to explain to Chase, who was sort of shocked by my reaction, but everything I was saying sounded so naive and lame. I just watched the ad again, to try to pinpoint and describe all the problems, but now I am dealing with more residual shivers of disgust.

I don't have a problem with will.i.am, or skateboarding or Alias or whatever. Ladies can kill people too now! Go 2009! You know, when you think about it, "Blowin' in the Wind" doesn't specifically say anything about the US military, and maybe we should have taken "God on Our Side" literally. Thanks for clearing that up, Pepsi.

Chase suggested an alternate ad, what the late 60s were like through a less nostalgic lens (hint: less groovy). Perhaps someone with some skills could make one? Possible themes- being a minority in the 60s really sucked, and your chance of being shot with a fire hose was a lot higher! Truman Capote- what's with that guy?! The Cuban Missile Crisis was fun! Remember when everyone cool got assassinated? And also, war is always fucking awful. No matter what Bob Dylan says.

I didn't love the Victoria's Secret ad, but I also didn't really care, because he just looked like a scaggy old lecher bankrupting his cultural legacy. This is a lot worse to me. Anyway. That's all.