A Story in Pictures

Presumably, this is the moment at which the (probably abused) poorly minded elephant spies the unguarded beer can in the cup holder of the stroller.


Here, in a line pile-up, he seizes his chance, and stretches his truly unbelievably long trunk into the group of slack-jawed yokels pressed up against the fence. (This is also the moment at which Chase has a heart attack because he sees the trunk reach into a stroller- luckily empty. He was pretty sure we'd be spending our mortgage money on therapy, for a minute there, though).


Here is his moment of pay-off, shoving the ice cold beverage, still in its aluminum can, into his gaping maw. Go Elephant! I have seen the size of his butt, and so I'm not really worried for his safety in digesting/passing this. I'm happy he's having probably the only happy moment of his life since he got his tusks taken off after the mauling incident accompanying his last brush with alcohol.


Here he begins, oh so casually, to turn back into line, probably eying the easily distracted leaders with their cattle prods. Who can blame those guys, though, really? Not much education or respect for animal rights in the Renaissance, from what I understand. Also, the super gay outfits for all the minimum wage workers at the fesitval are a special form of stripping away dignity.


My favorite part of this last picture is the lady on the far left- "All Ya'll gotta look at this elephant! He done ATE that lady's BEER!! YEE-HAW!" This is the point at which the SUPER AWESOME AND SMART (read: douchebag) crowds began trying to lure the elephant over and pour beer down his trunk. It's also the point at which I began, in some part of me I'm not proud of, to hope I would witness a mauling. Or at least a thrashing.

No such luck. We wandered away to the King's Swing, ye old snow cone stand (or apparently ye olde bee-stingery) and then on towards the exits. The whole thing was so bizarre- this incredible opportunity- an awe inspiring moment- to be so close to such an enormous and incredible animal. And then this sadness that the only reason I'm so close is because this animal has such a terrible life. Sometimes people can just be so disappointing, you know?

Anyway, Wren had a blast.